We at A Book of Cookrye are giving 2024 the sendoff it deserves: with questionable cocktails from Tumblr!
| The Flavor 1 can Cranberry Mike's Harder 1 bottle cucumber-lime Gatorade Pour the two into the same glass. Serve and contemplate how peculiar it tastes. |
Did you know they make cucumber-lime Gatorade? I sure as heck didn't! I thought cucumber-lime would make a better lotion scent than Gatorade, but then again I never liked Gatorade.
I could get into the measurements and all that, but that seems quite inappropriate for the recipe at hand. Instead, I just held one bottle in each hand and poured. I was surprised at how dominant the cranberry's color was. Like, the green Gatorade barely changed the color at all.
I have to admit, I was super hyped for this bizarre flavor experience. I wanted to experience the strange. I wanted to taste the ineffable. But instead I was like "This tastes like church punch."
If you've ever been to a Sunday children's social where they poured Hawaiian Punch and Sprite into a large bowl, you already have a good idea of what this tasted like. Except this also had undertones of cucumber. And I don't mean it tasted like artificial cucumber flavoring. I would have believed anyone who told me that the water had cucumber slices floating in it.
I should note that when drunk on its own, the Gatorade merely tasted like Gatorade. You couldn't detect any cucumber until you mixed it with the cranberry. I also want to point out that it was a lot better with the alcohol in it. Maybe you have to be slightly schnockered to think Gatorade is any good.
I didn't finish my drink. But since I chose the wineglass, I filled it with Diet Coke and felt slightly classier for it. Well, we can't run away from the New Year, so may it be full of, um, flavor!
I didn't know that they made cucumber lime Gatorade. If it doesn't have red dye in it, then maybe it was developed for people with a more refined pallet wanting something that sounds up class for their colonoscopy prep? This was obviously developed by someone who wanted to drink alcohol and stay hydrated.
ReplyDeleteTruly, cucumber-lime Gatorade is the most refined, upscale salted Kool-Aid this side of Whole Foods.
DeleteHopefully you saved some of the cranberry Mike's to enjoy on its own.
ReplyDeleteYou know how much I hate waste.
ReplyDeleteA person on Reddit (Few-Mycologist-2379) puts up some (maybe wrong? I dunno) explanation on why you taste the cucumber. Here if you're interested:
ReplyDeleteThere are a few different aspects of this all counterplaying each other at the same time to mess with your perception. Let’s start with the Gatorade. Gatorade is an electrolyte solution to aid in hydration. Electrolytes are combined Salts, Sugars and Acids(minerals within your body fluid) which both aid in maintaining hydration and conveying the electrical signals from your brain to the muscles. The first example is the first key to all of this. Salt!
Salt is known to block the bitter receptors in your tongue, making sweets seem sweeter and meats more Umami. What was our second ingredient? Mikes Harder Cranberry. And that’s the first really confusing part. Cranberry, Malt Beverage and Alcohol are all Bitter First type flavours. With the salt from the Gatorade, your tongue is still tasting what you are drinking, but your brain isn’t processing every aspect of the flavour, so you can’t quite place it. And honestly, everything else spirals around that. Since you can’t really taste the bitter, your brain focuses on the muted Cucumber Lime flavours. But Lime is inherently Sour, which is cut and counteracted by the sugar from both drinks and, again, the salts; but also the toasty/nutty flavour of Malt which is enhanced by the salt/sugar.
So you’re kinda left with the Cucumber. (Which a fair amount of people can still taste; but assuming you are one of the ones who don’t) Cucumber is a very… Green flavour. I would never say a cucumber is bitter, but I have certainly had a bitter cucumber. Chlorophyll (the Green from plants) is also generally pretty Earthy bitter. (Sweet and earthy also tend to not read well in your brain)
So your brain almost processed Cucumber (green flavour) and then is stopped by the salt and sugar( I honestly think the cranberry specifically also messes with that one), almost processed Cranberry and Malt Liquor and was stopped by the salt, almost processed Lime and was stopped by the Malt. Which leaves you with… ???!?!?!! The Flavour.
Ah, so the cucumber is the only remaining flavor that makes sense?
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