Fudge Gelatin Blox: or, Chocolate-flavored hoof rubber

Bad things happen when you say "I didn't know we had a gelatin mold..."

Blox of Fudge 1½ cups water 4 (¼-oz each) envelopes unflavored gelatin ½ cup sugar 1 (12-oz) package semisweet or milk chocolate chips Heat water to boiling. Meanwhile, mix sugar and water in a large, microwave-safe bowl. Pour the boiling water into the bowl and whisk until all is mixed. Stir in the chocolate. Cook in the microwave, stopping and stirring every 15 to 20 seconds, until the chocolate completely melts. Pour into an 8- or 9-inch square pan and refrigerate until firm. To serve, unmold* and cut into squares. *I'm not giving directions to unmold a gelatin because I'm still not quite sure how to do it myself. If you don't know how to unmold a gelatin either, just pour this into cute individual bowls instead. The Knox Gelatine Cookbook, 1977 via Mid-Century Menu

After the prune whip was a bust, I decided that we should go with something impossible to mess up: chilled chocolate. And (perhaps unfortunately), we had everything we needed. Also, the recipe was easy to quarter. It's always nice to know that if a something's a dud, you won't have much to throw out.

This recipe was pretty easy to make. You just heat everything up and stir. And to my delight, it tasted like a really rich hot chocolate that had gone cold on the countertop. The gelatin added a weird flavor underneath everything else, but I figured that would go away when it got cold. This was the last time the recipe went right.  

And here is where things got treacherous. I found this plastic gelatin mold when I was digging through the cabinets. It would have been nice if thunder crashed when I held it up. Instead, I just muttered "I wonder where this came from" in the silent kitchen.  I knew we didn't make enough to properly fill it, but I figured we'd have a cute patty-thing with scalloped edges. 

This is a good time to mention that I've never successfully unmolded a gelatin before. I found this cheery person who said I just needed to dip the mold in warm water, gently insert a knife to let some air in, and the gelatin should slip right out. That didn't work. I had to pry the gelatin with force. 

You can see that it would have been cute had it come out without a fight.

I should known things were wrong when the gelatin withstood so much abuse instead of breaking into chunks and goop. 

When we flipped our gelatin over, you couldn't see the damage. And after I cut it into squares, it looked just like the official recipe picture. But I should have been more suspicious when I could make the gelatin do this. 

This was like eating a chocolate-flavored bouncy ball. I didn't know I had any memories of gnawing on rubber toys as a toddler, but this brought them back. The only good thing I can say for this recipe is that at least I didn't make very much of it. I guess if you want, you can omit the gelatin and serve it as hot chocolate. Otherwise, this is only good if you want to give children a bouncy toy that's safe to accidentally ingest.