Coffee Ice Cream: Wheeee!

Today, we're playing with our new toy!

Coffee Ice Cream 1⅓ cups (14-oz can*) sweetened condensed milk 2 cups half-and-half 1 cup water 1 tablespoon instant coffee 1 tablespoon vanilla Dissolve the coffee in the water (You can warm the water in the microwave if you need to, but my coffee dissolved in water right out of the tap.) Mix all ingredients, then put in an ice cream machine and freeze until done. Transfer to a storage container and put in the kitchen freezer until firm. For vanilla ice cream, omit the coffee. For chocolate ice cream, omit coffee and melt 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate in the condensed milk. You can microwave it, stopping in stirring every 20 seconds, until the chocolate is melted. Or, you can use a double boiler. *The original recipe calls for a 15-oz can, but it seems Borden did a bit of recreational shrinkflation and nipped one ounce away from the cans. This recipe didn't mind the loss, but you should still be bothered. Borden's Eagle Brand Magic Recipes, 1964

I make this ice cream recipe out of a Borden condensed milk handout more often than any other.  Everyone wants this one over and over again. On one hand, it's nice when everyone wants you to make something where the instructions are just "stir everything together." (If I never hear "I thought we'd do chicken marsala tonight" again...) On the other hand, it's almost insulting for the same reason.

Borden's Eagle Brand Magic Recipes, 1964

The instructions may look daunting because they're so long, but that's because the writers decided to write out every single detail of using an ice cream machine. They end with the direction to "Cover freezer with burlap, heavy paper or carpet until serving time." Did everyone have carpet scraps lying around the house back then?

Regardless of whether we're temporarily unseating the welcome mat for the sake of ripening ice cream, we're trying a variation that The Nostalgic Cook suggested the first time we posted this recipe: add a spoonful of instant coffee. 

Now, when I got my new ice cream machine, I didn't think anything of it still being in the box. I used to believe people who keep their kitchen gadgets in the original box were being stupid and snobby, like all the people my age who have shrines of still-in-box action figures. But now, I see why you'd do it. After all, you need to store your doodads in something, and each one came with a box that's just the right size. So when I saw this was still in the original packaging, I simply figured the previous owner always put it neatly away. Then the box exploded styrofoam inserts all over the countertop.

After unpacking and examining, I don't think someone bought it in the late 1990s and never touched it. The ice cream scoop was still in its box with the tissue paper.

Also, this thing is so old that neither the registration card nor the instructions have a website on them. 

How long has it been since you got a mail-in registration card with something like an ice cream maker?

Aesthetically, you can tell it comes from a more prosperous time. They printed things like "EXTRA VALUE!" in cheery-colored text on the box--- twice. 

In the 1990s, we still put colors on our packaging. These days, everything is black, white, and gray.

Getting to the recipe, I couldn't decide if I wanted vanilla or coffee ice cream. Then I remembered that our machine came with two of those ice-pack bowls.

I do like how instant coffee is just as good as brewing it yourself in recipes like this. Or maybe I have a tragically undereducated taste for coffee since I almost never drink the stuff.

I'm going to have to get the hang of figuring out when this machine is done. But for today, I decided it was ready when our ice cream stopped moving. 

It turns out that letting your ice cream keep churning for extra time doesn't make it come out firmer or better. It just means that more of it turns into solid ice on the side of the machine. 

This is what learning looks like.

This tasted like a cup of coffee made to A Book of Cookrye standards. In other words, it's like an iced coffee-- the kind with lots of syrup and whipped cream. I absolutely loved it.